Splash! Sip! Tea Isn't Just for Grandmas Anymore!

So, I enjoy comic books. And there's sort of a running joke in the comic book community about how every six months or so a newspaper will write an article called "Bang! Pow! Comics Aren't Just for Kids Anymore!" Now, since the grim-and-gritty era of superhero comics is generally accepted to have begun in 1986 (with Frank Miller's Batman: The Dark Knight Returns and Alan Moore's Watchmen), this really should not count as news.

That's kind of how I felt when I saw this article on the popularity of tea.

Tea, trendy? Aaram Millones, owner of the Earth and Tea Café on Main Street, thinks so.

"They say tea is the new wine," he said.

It’s hard to argue with his claim about your grandma’s favorite beverage: In the past 18 months, Harrisonburg has gotten two tea shops within a block of each other.

Tea is gaining popularity? Stop the presses!

Things I'm coveting

So, I'm not buying things at the moment. My plan to move back to Canada both robs me of my spare cash flow and makes me reluctant to add to my already copious belongings. But if I wasn't so restrained, these are the things I might be buying.

Le Creuset Teapot in Citrus

I have no idea whether Le Creuset stoneware is as good as the metal stuff, and I don't care. This is simply the brightest, happiest teapot I think I've ever seen, and I love it for strictly aesthetic reasons. And really, it probably is pretty good.

Teapot Cookie Cutter

My parents - at whose house I do most of my cookie baking - have an absurdly large collection of cookie cutters, especially considering that we pretty much only use them at Christmas. They already have a teapot, but it's not as cute.

Copper Tea Kettle

Copper kettles are totally steampunk.

Peach-shaped Teapot

Oh my goodness, this is so cute. I'm a huge fan of peaches; to me, they stand for everything that's great about summer. I'd use this exclusively for fruity green and white teas.

Jackie Chan sez: Green tea = awesome!

First, go read the article. Finished? Okay, what did you think?

a. Wow, I'm going to buy that product right now!
b. Wow, celebrity endorsements are good, but celebrity endorsements by Chinese people are even better!
c. Wow, that guy must get a kickback from the company, because no one can be that enthusiastic about a powdered drink without financial gain!

Jesus, why don't they just call it "JACKIE CHAN'S MAGICAL ANTI-CANCER JUICE" and be done with it? Let's break this down:

1. Antioxidants may have some positive health effects. This does not mean that more of them makes you healthier.
2. Are people still doing the low-carb thing? I thought whole grains were the new black in diet-land.
3. Seriously? Jackie Chan is qualified to tell us what makes good green tea because he's from China? I just. Gaah.

Forget it. Here, check out Sir Thomas Lipton's MySpace Page instead. I think we have reached the logical extreme of fake celebrities on MySpace, you guys.